French took a while to become as weird as Spanish Duolingo but now it seems to be on a roll. So much so that I’ve come to think of it as “him” – a strange little person with a serious personality disorder, hiding in my phone. Here are some of my favorite examples of the many sides of Mr. D.:

Morbid mind Duolingo

L’animal meurt, en étant mangé par le lion. / The animal dies being eaten by the lion.

Il mourra plus tard. / He will die later.

Dirty old man Duolingo: 

Il y a sa chaleur contre mon corps. / There is her warmth on my body.

C’est sympa d’avoir une belle fille à chaque bras. / It’s nice to have a pretty girl on each arm.

Low self esteem / passive-aggressive Duolingo: 

C’est trop pour mon petit cerveau. / It’s too much for my little brain.

Apocalyptic Duolingo (my favorite): 

Tous les organismes vivants sont en danger. / All living organisms are in danger.

Strange thoughts on farming Duolingo:

C’est ma premiere vache. / It is my first cow.

Elle perd un cochon. / She loses a pig.

Big brother / creepy voice-in-my-head Duolingo (because he produced this one while I was sitting anxiously on the subway, running extremely late for work):

Pourquoi est-ce que vous êtes toujours en retard? / Why are you always late?

After two months of daily usage, I’ve pretty much run out of steam with this little appy app. Only the prospect of discovering more strange and ridiculous statements keeps me going. Maybe it is intentionally wacky for that very purpose! (Cunning Duolingo.)

(Photo: Daniel)