Fifty shades of Duolingo

legoticons

French took a while to become as weird as Spanish Duolingo but now it seems to be on a roll. So much so that I’ve come to think of it as “him” – a strange little person with a serious personality disorder, hiding in my phone. Here are some of my favorite examples of the many sides of Mr. D.:

Morbid mind Duolingo

L’animal meurt, en étant mangé par le lion. / The animal dies being eaten by the lion.

Il mourra plus tard. / He will die later.

Dirty old man Duolingo: 

Il y a sa chaleur contre mon corps. / There is her warmth on my body.

C’est sympa d’avoir une belle fille à chaque bras. / It’s nice to have a pretty girl on each arm.

Low self esteem / passive-aggressive Duolingo: 

C’est trop pour mon petit cerveau. / It’s too much for my little brain.

Apocalyptic Duolingo (my favorite): 

Tous les organismes vivants sont en danger. / All living organisms are in danger.

Strange thoughts on farming Duolingo:

C’est ma premiere vache. / It is my first cow.

Elle perd un cochon. / She loses a pig.

Big brother / creepy voice-in-my-head Duolingo (because he produced this one while I was sitting anxiously on the subway, running extremely late for work):

Pourquoi est-ce que vous êtes toujours en retard? / Why are you always late?

After two months of daily usage, I’ve pretty much run out of steam with this little appy app. Only the prospect of discovering more strange and ridiculous statements keeps me going. Maybe it is intentionally wacky for that very purpose! (Cunning Duolingo.)

(Photo: Daniel)

 

it’s the weekend!

Chateau de Gudanes

And it’s supposed to be in the 70’s, which is the least that May could do after the travesty that was March and April. So far it’s just been more of the same – I wore my winter jacket all this week. INAPPROPRIATE. Fingers crossed that the weekend brings sunny skies and heat at last (and at the same time for God’s sake).

Til Monday! and in the meantime, links links links:

A speaking exchange program that is highly adorable, and also a very good idea.

If I learned French and had a bazillion dollars I, too, could renovate a centuries-old chateau in the countryside.

10 secrets to learning a language without spending a dime. (So you can save up for the chateau instead.)

Pre-immersion makes anticipating a trip more fun than the trip itself.

(Photo: Chateau de Gudanes)

the best of words, the worst of words: aurore and concubinage

On Sunday I went to a gathering at which there were not one, not two, but three French transplants. So I subjected all of them to my little favorite/least favorite words exercise, and I’ll share their responses one by one as I get around to typing them up. First, there’s Anne Cecile aka Anna, a journalist who is working on an intriguing documentary that I am not at liberty to discuss. But take my word for it, it will be good.

Anne Cecile favorite word

I am a fan of Anna’s choice. Aurore is a lovely-sounding word and her translation of it is even more lovely. While Google tells me it simply means “dawn,” Anna insisted that aurore has a more complicated meaning no one English word can completely capture. So why is it her favorite? Translated from the French (to the best of my ability!): “It’s a word for a fleeting moment that is beautiful and precious. The word could be ugly if it were said in a harsh way but it’s said with softness. And it’s a hopeful word for when things are fresh and new again.”

On to the least favorite:

Anne Cecile hates the word concubinage

Funnily enough, concubine is one of my favorite words but I can see how it’s not for everyone. English concubine and French concubinage have different connotations. Concubinage is basically domestic partnership or common law marriage. Anna points out that while she is all for the concept of concubinage, it’s the word itself that she doesn’t like. Too many of the same sounds back to back. “It’s almost like the word was designed to be ugly so people wouldn’t do it.” A word with a conservative agenda!

I love how both of Anna’s choices require a multi-word explanation – more of a definition than a translation. So, thanks to Anna for her powers of description, and for lodging these two new words firmly in my brain!

(get over the) hump-day inspiration: C.S. Lewis

CS Lewis quote

Because 34 is the new 14.

This photo, by the way, is from my first glimpse of South America along the Chilean coast. It would have been a more profound moment had I not flown through Toronto and been delirious with exhaustion. In retrospect I peg it as the kick-off to my new era of crazy dreaming and scheming. At the time I just stared and stared and thought, I will process this after I sleep.

solo in Paris – or anywhere really

strolling couple in paris

My favorite thing is to wander aimlessly around a densely packed city and take in the sights. That’s basically all I did in Buenos Aires from early in the morning til the wee hours of night: walk and gawk, walk and gawk, stop to sit in a park, walk and gawk, stop to eat steak (always, steak), walk and gawk, walk and gawk. I must have covered a forty square mile area by foot and every single block had something to be in awe of, whether animal, vegetable or mineral.

Apparently the French have a word for people like me: flâneur, or stroller. Stephanie Rosenbloom wrote a piece for this week’s Times travel section about strolling Paris on her own, and it perfectly captures the magic of solo travel. The way that being alone enhances the senses and imbues every experience with both grounding stillness and skin-prickling energy.

Paris, she convincingly writes, is a city that “deeply rewards the solo traveler”:

In a city that has been perfecting beauty since the reign of Napoleon III, there are innumerable sensual details — patterns, textures, colors, sounds — that can be diluted, even missed, when chattering with someone or collaborating on an itinerary. Alone one becomes acutely aware of the hollow clack of pétanque balls in a park; the patina of Maillol’s bronze “Baigneuse se Coiffant” that makes her look wet even on a cloudless day in the Tuileries; how each of the empty wine bottles beside sidewalk recycling bins is the embodiment of someone’s good time.

I have only spent a few days in Paris and that was years ago – but I remember it as gray, snobby and overrated. I’ve never felt the need to return until I read this article, which had me wanting to jump on the next plane. Instead I practiced my flânerie / joggerie along the Hudson River on a drop-dead gorgeous New York City day and was thankful to be living in the walkingest city in the world.

(Photo: I took this picture when I visited Paris in 2000. Everything about this elderly couple, from their classic dress, to their slow unhurried stroll, to their arm-in-arm charm, felt perfectly suited to the city.)

l’amour est fou

useful romantic expressions in French

Saw this list of French phrases that are “useful for romantic situations” on Pinterest today, pinned from this apropos Tumblr. I love how it starts out syrupy sweet but midway through the other side of love starts peeking through – the “Are you crazy?”s and the “Leave me alone!”s.

Funny because my biggest love / hate relationship at the moment seems to be with Duolingo. When I’m not forcing myself to do it, it’s the most breezy and satisfying thing ever, but when I’m just trying to get through it so I can move on to other things, I feel nothing but resentment. As though Duolingo is the cause of my angst instead of my own tendency towards OCD. Anyway, I was upstate with friends this past weekend and ruined my 53-day streak on Sunday, which made me really sad. Ah well, c’est la vie.

duolingo doldrums

I have seen this little guy a few too many times this week.

Duolingo out of hears owl screen

Over it.

The Duolingo owl, the Twitter fail whale – what is it with cute animals bearing bad digital news?